I’m slowly, very slowly embracing the paradoxical nature of the kingdom of God.
If I think “I’ve still got it!”, or that I can handle it, or that I’ve earned it…. if I think I’ve finally arrived or am better than anyone else, then I’ve moved away from the living God.
Desperate, poor, hungry, needy, helpless, empty, broken, weak….none of these are adjectives that the world associates with power. Our proud, sinful nature is always fighting, struggling to prove we’re the exact opposite of these very words.
But what does the Bible tell me? When I am weak, then I am strong.
God Himself says, “My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
So let me not think otherwise. Let me stick to the facts.
Whatever blessings I enjoy, I received from God.
My apartment, my car, my family and friends, my health…the very breath in my lungs and the constant beating of my heart. Even the ability to minister to Him is a gift from Him. Through my imperfect and feeble body, I give myself back to Him. And He is delighted.
How many times did I have just enough money? Or how many times did I NOT have enough and someone was kind enough to wait?
How many times have I fallen asleep at the wheel and suffered no harm?
How many dangerous blocks have I walked through unassailed?
And on how many nights have I felt scared or lonely and someone called me just to say “Hi!”
How the Lord cares for and carries me! He never takes His eye off of me. Every time I whimper or sigh or moan or cry, He’s right here holding and comforting me. His stripes really do heal.
And when my mouth is filled with laughter, and my heart makes merry, we’re laughing and enjoying the moment together. Jesus and me. His love defines me.
Here’s to the strength that is God’s response to my weakness. Here’s to childlike trust in a powerful and loving Abba. Here’s to a fresh start. “Hello 2016. It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Wendy, and I’m desperately dependent on God.”